i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I need a beard to bite.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
