im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
