Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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