If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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