I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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