If that was your dad, he is hot
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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