so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
