it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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