Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
