I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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