PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
