I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
