used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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