I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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