I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
