Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
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