I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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