I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
