Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
