the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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