So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
