the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
