The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize