My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
