Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
