it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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