Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
