if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize