I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
