I must be too annoying 4 u.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
