this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
We need to rekindle our bromance
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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