I hope mine doesn't look like that
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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