Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
