it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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