In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
