While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
