somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
