I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
