I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
