idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
