And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
