it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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