Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
