the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
