The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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