soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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