Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
