The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
