Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
