I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
