Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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