Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
