I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm at about main and main street
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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