Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
