he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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