In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
