I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So many bounce houses so little time
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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