in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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