I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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