you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
