How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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