we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize