Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize