My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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