Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
