Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
