im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
