Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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